 |
The Secret Of Self-Confidence
Welcome back!
“He who begins many things finishes but few”
Italian Proverb
In my garage, I have some old filing cabinets. One entire cabinet is filled with manuscripts and partial manuscripts of books I started but never finished. It’s not yet a graveyard. It’s more a holding yard for ideas that I started but did not finish. That filing cabinet is a dubious testament to half-baked, unfinished tasks.
Again and again, I fell into the same trap. I started work on a book idea. Then I would have another book idea, or an idea to change the book I was working on. And so I would drop what I was doing and start another writing project. The result is that I didn’t stay with any single idea long enough to produce a publishable book.
In recent years, I have done much better and have kept myself focused long enough to complete several book manuscripts.
But I never completely forget those manuscripts out there. I trust myself as a writer enough to think that I have the makings of 8-10 solid books in that cabinet, at various stages of completion.
The fact is, an unfinished manuscript is not a book, and it doesn’t do anyone any good. It especially doesn’t do me any good.
And this is the real point I want to focus on here. What does it do to anyone to start projects and not finish them?
We can agree that there are many valid reasons why you might abandon a project after working on it for a while. Maybe the good idea was not such a good idea at all. Maybe it really is not workable. Maybe you realize that you don’t care about it so much after all.
But after you get past all of the valid reasons why you might abandon a project, you come to the relevant question. What if you abandoned a really good idea to chase after another idea, just because it was a new idea? What if chasing after the latest hot idea is the single most important obstacle to your success?
“There is nothing so fatal to character as half-finished tasks,”
David Lloyd George
As a guideline to success, nothing is more powerful than the simple decision to finish what you start. Completion enhances self-confidence and a sense of accomplishment.
Every creative process begins with an idea. But the competition of the process requires persistence, and perseverance, and a willingness to stay with the good idea to see it through to completion. These are character issues.
In contrast, think about the connection between character and half-finished tasks. How do you feel about yourself when you leave projects unfinished, to go on to the next new idea?
Doesn’t every unfinished task add up in some sort of internal ledger as a legacy of failure? Of not having what it takes to see a project through? I certainly feel that way about my unfinished manuscripts. It’s not just about the manuscripts. It’s about me. I didn’t finish because I didn’t do what was required to finish.
The root meaning of the word “confidence” is “with trust.” When you are confident, you trust yourself.
What are the consequences of starting good ideas, but then never finishing, because you veer off course to start something else? What happens to your own confidence–your self-trust–when you repeatedly don’t finish what you start? It means you cannot even trust yourself to do what you say you will do.
Self-confidence means that you have faith in yourself to be able to do what you set out to do. How many times can you start something and then abandon it, without losing faith in your own ability to do what you tell yourself you will do?
In my latest book (which is completed but not yet online), I used the model of the hero’s journey to write about beliefs about money. The more I study the model of the hero’s journey, the more I realize how much the heroic journey is a powerful model for success.
The essential characteristic of a hero is that the hero perseveres to complete the task, when most people would quit. Heroes continue, no matter how hard it gets, in their quest to accomplish their goal.
And so, what is your equivalent of a filing cabinet with 8-10 unfinished books? What have you started and not finished that takes a toll on your own self-confidence? What task do you need to complete? And what is the cost to your own character if you leave it undone?
By Kalinda Rose Stevenson, Ph.D.
September 29th, 2007 at 5:36 am
Funny how I stumbled on this post, after awakening this morning and writing out my intentions to get more organized and structured about writing my book. I made a list of the exact steps that I need to take to finsih the project. Now, I intend to stick to the project and see it to completion. Nothing is more frustrating than incompletion. I’ve written a lot of unfinished book manuscripts and articles– and know exactly what Kalinda is saying. Part of the problem is that it’s hard to get organized, and then the inner critic steps in and tells you your idea isn’t worth pursuing, or you just can’t get your ideas out of your brain in a structured and organized way. Yes, it is good to finish what you start. I’ve pushed myself to finish reading books or listen to audio cds, simply because I want to get through it. Kalinda is right about the feeling of confidence that comes from completion. Every time you finish writing an article or book, something registers in your brain… and this makes it easier for you to go further the next time. The next time that you write, you’re able to stretch the idea further, and make your metaphors and analogies crisper. You may have a whole new understanding or framework. Like an artist, you’ve create something new, and can step back and admire it. It’s a wonderful feeling to create something new. There is a tremendous sense of accomplishment. You feel like a better person. Another thing that I notice about completing an article or book is that you’ve internalized the information in a new way. Now you can easily explain your idea to others, as if it’s all organized and structured in your mind. One last thing about completion. Good writing involves drawing from your past experiences, recalling information that is buried deep in your subconsicous. When this happens, you are able to make changes in the way you think, feel and act.. rather than being stuck in old patterns and loops. In this way, writing is an vechicle for personal transformation.
March 24th, 2009 at 3:35 am
I received a letter from my husband’s grandmother with the Lloyd George quote and immediately thought of my many incomplete projects. Right now, I have two book ideas that are quite interesting to me. When I tell other people about them, they are fascinated. But the work just sits incomplete. The quote brought me up short. My failure to produce leaves me feeling inferior, insubstantial. In short, it has been fatal to my character.
It is not that I think I must produce to be worthwhile; intellectually, I have rejected that idea. It is just that the time I could have spent on ideas that really interest me, I have frittered away on activities that leave me with no joy of discovery, no feeling of stretching beyond my current situation. My failure to finish these tasks may not yet have been fatal to my character, but it has definitely contributed to my feeling of dis-ease.